The voice behind the boy: A closer look at reflections in This Boy’s Life

Toby’s life continues to take us on an exciting adventure as the end of the book nears. With hopes of escaping Chinook, Toby puts all of his effort into forging transcripts and letters to increase his chances of entrance into the boarding schools his brother has told him about. He is invited to meet with Mr. Howard, a representative from Hill Boarding School who is won over by Toby’s string of lies. In the meantime Toby’s mother arranges for him to leave home, where Dwight’s abuse was only getting worse and move in with his friend Chuck and his family.  Chuck was often drunk and reckless, however Toby admits that he could not keep up with his friend which was for the better. The boys siphoned gas from a poor family one night and made no attempt to cover their tracks. Mr. Bolger, Chuck’s father, reprimanded Toby and Chuck demanding they apologize to the family. For reasons unknown, Toby did not apologize. The good news came from Mr. Howard in the nick of time. While being in the Bolger household was not harmful to Toby, Chuck’s actions were not a good influence. Toby had been accepted into Hill with an almost full scholarship.

The scholarship covered all but $500 per year; Toby had planned to use the money Dwight had been saving to cover this. To his surprise Dwight had not saved any of Toby’s money and this sparked more anger inside him. In revenge, Toby steals to guns from Dwight’s house and pawns them. This is nearly the last childish act we see Toby do; he receives a “grown-up” wardrobe courtesy of Mr. Howard, spends the summer with his real family in California and enrolls at Hill, although this is less than perfect. Although he is asked to leave school in his last year, Toby has clearly grown and learns that life does not have a set plan for you; you must have a plan for your life.

The turning point in this autobiography is Toby’s acceptance into Hill. It can also be said that the turning point begins at the exact moment Toby first meets with Mr. Howard. The theme of the road is continued on in this part of the book as a metaphor. When Mr. Howard leaves after meeting Toby, he watches,

“the Thunderbird all the way down the hill to the main road…The Thunderbird turned south at the main road and disappeared behind the trees” (pg 228.)

Toby watching the Mr. Howard until he was out of sight instills a sense of hope into the book that had not been felt before. Mr. Howard is heading back to a life that Toby may someday have. When Toby is enrolled in Hill he finds that he is unhappy with his performance. He states,

“It scared me to do so poorly when so much was expected” (pg 285.)

Before entering Hill, Toby would not have cared if he had performed poorly in school. This shows that Hill has changed him and perhaps taught him to respect expectations in the future.

A key passage is found on page 286, as the autobiography comes to an end. The voice of Tobias is revealed as he reflects on his childhood thoughts. He states,

 “When we are green, still half-created, we believe that our dreams are rights, that the world is disposed to act in our best interests, and that falling and dying are for quitters. We live on the innocent and monstrous assurance that we…have a special arrangement whereby we will be allowed to stay green forever”

This is clearly not a statement that Toby would be making as a boy. Tobias gives us an insight into his thought of childhood. Telling readers that to be young is to be naïve. To believe that one can be young forever is unrealistic and eventually the events of life cause you to grown up, even if you plan to stay young forever. This is a key point in the book as it gives a synopsis of Toby’s immaturity, showing where he began and the changes that have occurring in his life.

This passage resonated with me as a reader so much that I reread it multiple times. I feel that many of us have had the thought in our minds that we could stay young forever. However, life always catches up with you and forces you to grow, mature and change.

Several questions arose during the final chapters including how Tobias Wolff decided on an appropriate ending point to his autobiography. After reading a short interview with Wolff (http://news.stanford.edu/stanfordtoday/ed/9809/9809fea101.shtml) it appears that he was not inspired by the later elements of his life to include them in the autobiography. He states that,

“Sometimes things are very intractable; they don’t seem to want to be written, and you finally have to leave them alone.”

I feel as though this will be a helpful element to remember when writing my own autobiography.

Another question I came across involves Tobias’ decision to join the Army. He states that he feels at home among the uniforms and weapons. I wonder if this outcome would have been different if he had never received his first riffle from Roy. How would Toby’s life end up if he had never been introduced to weapons and felt that sense of protection and power?